After 1826 days of this shit (with leap year), Robin Hood of Locksley has FINALLY had enough and pulls the hand-chopper’s hand toward him so that his hand gets chopped instead. Today’s torture sees everyone getting a hand cut off. Everyone is hairy and gross because they’ve all been getting tortured for five years. The film introduces Robin Hood of Locksley among a line of English prisoners (and Morgan Freeman). We begin with title cards, explaining how a bunch of English people went to Jerusalem to fight the Crusades. It is a sickening movie, where everyone does a lot of spitting and the villains all act nose-first directly into the camera. It had a hit song by Bryan Adams that was exclusively sung at 1991 weddings for marriages that did not work out. This Robin Hood movie came out in 1991 and is two hours, twenty minutes long. Movies: they are a Robin Hood delivery system first and everything else second. ![]() Witches and Warlocks made this rule over a hundred years ago and nobody’s breaking it any time soon. It’ll be because too much time passed since a Robin Hood movie came out. When cinema finally dies, it won’t be due to Covid-19 or any other world event like that.
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